An Open Letter to my Younger Self

There is this great song that talks about what this guy would say to himself if he could go back and meet his younger self. Hmmm…That got me to thinking yesterday. I said to myself “self, what would you say if you could meet the younger you?”

A lot.

Because if I were actually able to go back and meet my younger self, I could save myself the trouble of some things that I put myself through.

So without further ado…(and please feel free to skip over it because it’s likely to be long):

Dear Younger Me,

There are going to be some things that go on in your life that I’d like to give you some advice about.

(Pause) If I do this, does it change the future? (Resume)

Try and be a little nicer to our younger brother Barry. As irritated as you get with him, every.. single…day…. when you are 33, you will still feel guilt over how many times you beat him up. Yes, you and he eventually become very close but you will always wonder if he resents you for bullying him.

When you are 8, you are going to bury a letter in the dirt that you wrote to God. When you dig it up, don’t cry…because even though it’s still there, he read it. Just have faith. Oh and while on the subject of God, try not to keep yourself up at night worrying about if you will go to hell or not. That’s way too much burden for an 8 year old to carry around. I have it on good authority that we are tight with God.

When you meet the man that is ultimately going to adopt you and be your dad, try not to give him such a hard time. While his patience is never ending with your foul mouth, he’s going to be there for you no matter what…so you can quit trying to chase him off. Just accept that not all dads bail on you, and this one is a keeper. Trust me. I know these things.

When we you hit junior high, PLEASE oh please don’t frost your hair and then jump into a chlorine pool. Your hair just may just turn bright green. For a long time. And then don’t let your sister put a bowl on your head and give you weird haircut that your mom is going to freak out about. It doesn’t matter if it is early 90’s; green, weird layered hair is not the thing.

When you get your license and go out on your first trip (with Josh and Julie), be careful. You might just hit two cars in one hour. Don’t freak out though because even though your parents told you that they would take your keys if you got in any wrecks, they give them back. Of course, you won’t hit that second car if you just go home after you hit the first one instead of going to the mall.

Don’t cheat in Spanish. You will need that skill later on down the road…it may seem unlikely at the time, but trust me….it’s a useful thing.

When your mom gives you the book “Meditations for People who May Worry too Much”, take the hint and try and relax. You can’t fix the world’s problems and eventually you will figure that out and learn to chill a little. Learn the phrase “it is what it is”. That’ so true.

To my 17 year old self, you do not know everything. You don’t even know a third of what you think you know. Don’t lie to your parents one night and say you are working when you are not. Don’t leave home for a week because you think you are grown. And if you do anyway, accept the month of being grounded with grace. It could have been a lot worse. Because if you don't heed my advice, not only will you have no life for a month, you will miss that very important Mardi Gras parade that you were supposed to be in and you will let everyone down.

Hug your granddad as often as you can. Let him know how much you love and appreciate him for all that he does for you.

Maybe you should try to think before you speak. Social filters are “the thing”, you may want to visit that concept. Not everyone will appreciate your blunt honesty. Sometimes people would rather you lie to them. Try not to wait until you are in your 30’s to figure that one out. It will save you a lot of headache and aggravation.

Your mom is not the enemy. Actually she will end up being your best friend but I think deep down you already know this. She’s been the one constant in your life, your one source of stability and love, and she will be steadfast as you grow into an adult.

If a good friend of yours dies, mourn with your friends but know that it does get easier. You will still remember him every day but eventually it will be with fondness instead of pain.

I also highly advise you to not graduate at mid semester of your senior year. Even though you will return to walk with your class at the end of the year, you miss out on so much. You will miss out on seeing your friends every day and goofing off just for the fun of it. You will miss the last half of a year of being a kid. Don’t try to grow up so fast, you will work full time for the rest of your life. Trust me.

And while you think you want to get into criminal justice…you will just be wasting 3 years of your life with classes that you will never do anything with. How about nursing or something? No, you don’t end up in nursing but it’s a great idea.

If you meet a boy named Steve…just keep on walking. While he is a wonderful person and a great friend…he’s not your soul mate. No matter how much you think he is in the beginning. You will just break his heart in the long run and feel guilty about it for years.

You lose touch with some good friends but maintain close ties with quite a few. You worry a lot about how your life is going to turn out. Don’t….you do just fine. You end up a well rounded, self confident, happily married individual. Your bumps and bruises along the way are worth it, because you learn so much. Learn to accept people for who they are and realize that not everyone can live up to your expectations. But most of all….be happy.

Love,

Older You