Saturday, May 29, 2010

Oh. My. God. What WERE You Thinking??

Over the last couple of days I have been looking through old pictures. Many of them were so outlandish that I had to scan them and share them with the world...because, that's what people do when they have a passion for any type of photography...right? It led me to a 2-day project of scanning in various pictures from back in the day. Some of the pictures deserve to have their stories told...I mean...well...you'll see.....

Back in the late 80's I discovered the most awesome band ever. I thought nothing of the fact that they wore more makeup and hairspray than I did. Who is the band you ask? As if you have to ask, right? Poison.

Poison was my first ever concert. My cousin Chris took me and my cousin Missy to see them in South Carolina when they were touring with David Lee Roth....and so began my obsession with everything Poison...I will proudly admit that I have seen them in concert 5 times. Although, I'm sure you couldn't just have guessed that by the sheer volume of Poison posters behind me.

My dad (Pop) is an amazing wood worker (is that what they call people that like making things with wood? Wood worker? Wood artist? Wood maker?). He would make me random Poison things. See, dads do that kind of thing. Even though he thought the music was like listening to wounded cats screeching....he humored me.

The picture above makes me giggle now. Back when it was taken, I thought I was the coolest teen in the small town of Hitchcock. It's funny now looking back...as different as I was from the rest of my cowboy boot, MC Hammer Dookie pants wearing friends....it didn't matter. And yes....I did succumb to the Dookie Pant craze...but hey....please don't tell anyone, OK? I mean it.....I really don't want that to get out. People would think I was weird or something.

Around my freshman year of high school I started to morph into more of a girly girl. Well, as much of a girly girl as I could be. I still don't understand the art form called shoes. I moved from a head of "frost" (of which turned florescent green by sheer accident one day by making the intelligent decision to go swimming right after I had it done) to what can only be described as tidal wave hair. Hold that thought...I'd like to discuss my green hair for a bit if you don't mind.

Even as much as I loved Poison (and yes, that was the color of my new hair), I didn't love that I had bright green hair. I'm about to disappoint you for a moment by telling you a little known fact. If you don't like to be disappointed....please skip this next part...OK? No? Well don't say I didn't warn you!! Did you know that vinegar does NOT work on everything as you may have thought? I'm here to tell you that I was extremely let down when, after 5 bottles of vinegar, (and smelling like a horrid pickle) that I still had green hair. My green hair slowly faded. That was also about the time that my sister Angie and I had the bright idea that a frosted hair-do would look fantabulous with a "bowl" cut. No, please don't shake your head at me.....I'm serious. I proceeded to let her stick a bowl on my head and make 4 perfectly shaped bowl layers in my head (sorry, I just love making up words...that should be a word..so from this day forward....fantabulous is a word....at least on this blog it is).

We proudly went to display her artistry to my parents and bless their hearts.....they held it together. Of course, the "I'm so sick to my stomach that I'm about to throw up; how COULD you do that to your hair??" look totally gave them away. I have to give them props though...they only did things like make us walk ahead of them at the mall....We laugh about it then but a bowl layer with frosted florescent green hair wasn't exactly the thing back then.

OK back to the tidal wave hair. That was a true art from in and of itself. I mean...you had to get it to perfectly flip back while remaining smooth in the front despite the can of hairspray that you had to use to keep it from moving. I still giggle when I see the one above. Don't you just love how it drops off to the right? It's like a wall or something.

It was so stiff and high that while I was on the dance drill team called the Swingerettes, I had to wear my hat toward the back of my skull. The tidal wave wouldn't give an inch. I'm ashamed to admit (not really, I think it's pretty funny...but work with me here) that I was convinced that my hair style was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Really. I mean it.

Lets move on, shall we? I'd like to discuss the next picture. The helmet head picture. Correction, the tidal wave helmet head picture. Pardon me while I say something to myself....

Self, what WERE you thinking? I mean, really? really?? Come ON. And what's with that inch thick makeup that you allowed to be caked on by a country bumpkin of a hair dresser (the same one that did the helmet tidal wave hair)?

Did you know that the entire day of my Senior pictures....my hair didn't move once. Not once. This is one of the times that I think...of all of the pictures taken throughout school...this one is going to live in my year book forever. People (myself included) will look at this picture, shake their heads and giggle.

Would you like to know something? After that hairtastrophy (get it??) I never went back to a country bumpkin stylist. Ever. Again.

And lets not even get me started on my caterpillar eyebrows.



But you know what? All of these pictures are great memories because they tell a story of a happy teenager. A teenager who's parents let me express myself freely. They didn't understand my obsession with everything Poison, or my weird taste in jackets....but they let me get through that phase on my own. They let each of us express our individual personalities with our clothes, music, and lets not forget....our interior design talents.

Mom and Pop,
I'm not sure how I ended up with such great parents, but thank you. Thank you for letting me be weird. Thank you for letting me figure out on my own that green hair wasn't "the thing". Thank you for making me into the person I am today. A person that doesn't look back on these pictures and hide them in shame....but one that is confident enough in herself that she can laugh at them with fondness as she shares them with the world.

Sincerely,

I Really am Normal Now. Really. Well, Mostly...

See what happens when you visit my blog??? You get random tidbits into my life....things you may or may not have even wanted to know. But now you do.

1 comment:

erin said...

Too funny....but no mention of the scrunchie?? LONG LIVE THE SCRUNCHIE! I think that deserves a post all of its own, eh?