Monday, May 17, 2010

Control

Internal strength is something I've always prided myself in having but one of the things that I do struggle with is the need to control every aspect of my life. I need to know that I'm in the drivers seat to my future and I need to be in control of situations that I find myself in.

I've always been the type of person that needs an outlined path for my life. I need structure, consistency and to overall be in control of my life....and I can't say that I like change. I've never handled it well when my life gets off track or takes a detour. It throws the balance of my life off.

As I've gotten older I've gotten better control of it but when life throws me curve balls I still struggle with staying on my path. I have learned to repeat to myself "it is what it is" and for the most part it works. But I'm not entirely sure that I will ever fully know how to stay on my course when life throws those curve balls at me. Some people thrive on curve balls and even like them. I don't. If I could have a map of my entire life, that would suit me just fine. I don't like surprises or feeling like I have no control of a situation that I'm involved in. Now I'd like to make it clear that when I talk about control, I'm not talking about controlling people. It's not that kind of control. It's about being in control of my life, what happens to me and the situations that may involve me.

So, I guess the question for the day is....How do I stay on path when life decides to change my plans? I don't know that I'll ever find the answer but just acknowledging that I don't love it when I'm not in control of my life helps some.

1 comment:

erin said...

For me, I pray for strength to get through the things I don't have control of.

I don't like curve balls either. If you find your map, see if mine is with it! ;0)